When I was younger, I loved sticking my hand out of the window as we were driving down the road and letting my hand “ride” on the wind. I loved looking past my fingertips and seeing another road run parallel to the road we were on. My eyes would travel down the other road as it would slide in and out of view, drawing near and falling away before it finally disappeared from view.
Some roads ran for a great distance near ours, others I saw for just a little bit before they split away and still others appeared to be overlapping, looking like they might collide and yet never actually met ours at all.
We, like roads, all have a path to take. Perhaps starting out slow, running near only a couple of other roads, perhaps picking up speed with time, expanding our lanes and running alongside many other roads, some joining our journey for a small stretch others moving with us through the hills and valleys of this life without leaving our side. Potholes, wreckage, and crazy weather can all cause the need for construction…. perhaps delaying the way we thought the journey would go from time to time or causing de-tours we didn’t plan, taking us to places we never thought our road would go.
Sometimes roads end. Roads that we enjoyed traveling alongside. Roads that were a consistent landmark in the landscape our paths wind through.
Sometimes, there are signs that let us know an end is coming. They can be big, flashy signs or just a little roadside sign that let you know…. this road is ending. It may have been a road that’s run alongside you for as long as you can remember. Perhaps you hope the signs are wrong. Or that the signs will change. Roads that once ran strong now show signs that suggest that a junction is ahead and that not all roads will keep going after that junction.
That is the way of life.
Our family has recently come to a junction like that. A road that has been a steady companion to my own path for the last 22 years is becoming narrower every day. My Mother-In-Love’s road has been beautifully intertwined with my family’s path.
Sometimes, our roads ran closer than others, but she was never far. We have enjoyed many miles of life alongside each other.
As the signs of what’s ahead become painfully impossible to ignore, I find myself trying to brace for what lies ahead for our family.
My road has faced this junction before. I’ve seen these signs. As my hand rode the wind, I observed roads become smaller before they disappeared from my view. I know the fog that settles in and makes it hard to see anything ahead.
Over the last 5 months, our family has been watching the signs increase in frequency and clarity on my Mother-in-loves road. At this time, we get to see the signs daily that very soon we must expect her road here on this earth to end. After 11 years of fighting cancer, her body is tired. I can feel that old familiar fog setting in. I can see the pain that just the thought of traveling on without her brings to those who love her, even as they care for her every need and want in this time.
Everything within me wants to scream and beg for just a little more distance with her.
But that’s not how the end of a road works.
Her road has brought love, kindness and care into my path and the paths of my family. When our roads crossed, her arms were open to welcome me in. She took time, so much time, to make sure that her road was close to our roads. She traveled alongside my children, sharing in where their paths took them. I will forever treasure the beautiful joy for reading she stirred in my children, the time she took to be with them, the comfort foods she shared with us, the pictures she insisted on taking that I am now sooo grateful to have, the mornings of coffee on the different porches over the years, the many, many outings we adventured on and the countless conversations over our shared interests in natural remedies and healthy solutions for the problems our bodies face.
All treasures to me.
All points where our roads crossed and we shared the most valuable thing our roads have. Time.
None of us know how much of her path is left to travel, but we all know her road is a good one. A strong one! She fought hard for her road, especially that last bit!
What do you do when a road is ending?
I can tell you what our family has been doing a lot. We have turned around and looked back at the journey. We have marveled at the ups, the downs, the joy and the grief that has accompanied the many miles we’ve been allowed to travel together. Words don’t always come easy anymore. You don’t need many words or fancy ones to convey the love appreciation and deep gratitude that is felt when we look at the many memories that fill our paths.
We have found comfort in knowing that her road does not end when it slips from our view. For us a fog will settle, but for her, the view will be clear and bright as day for she has fought the good fight and she has kept the faith as she is finishing her race. For her, this earthly road will give way to streets of gold.
What a gift to be a road crossing hers!
Leave a Reply